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Corona Olympics 2020

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BALLS OF STEEL

As I always say - the political Worldwide tensions are sizzling hot. And it's not a dancing bear with a tambourine at the meadow - This is a full-scale conflict. At the present time there is an opposition between the great powers. To be honest I don't care who wins, I need a party right now. To be honest - I'm actually very worried about peace on Earth and so I vote for the Emperor of Afghanistan, who promised to plant the red poppy all over the World. Well, to be honest - I invented this story, I don't vote for the Emperor. There already was one emperor in the history, named Napoleon. He was playing cards on the strip and eventually he became completely naked. After a long stay in this form, he crawled into the bear's den and died there. Emperors have always been useless governors, they're dying off like flies, therefore all power should be transferred to farmers!

A human being should do useful things such as: dolphin rescuing (population), preventing whale murdering (and feed them), growing marijuana and others. Recently I slaughtered  all the crows in the park with a club, because gang of dirty crows flew from the local landfill, they smelled like slops (reeking like slops). By doing that, I chased them away from the park, so they couldn't rape old ladies anymore. After a while I heard someone screaming and saw a sheep which was sitting on a tree. I climbed a tree to save her, but a little bit later a fell down into a pit with a slipping bum, whom I got scared, took his pants off, which had Energizer batteries in the pocket. And I washed his butt to improve the odour. Okay, let's not talk about bad things and instead let's talk about the pokemon army.

Tell me please how many each one caught? I've caught two invaders and after that my phone suddenly started to vibrate and fell into a bucket with a horse dung. Since then, I stopped playing games and started to save money to invest in the business. So, the campaign is starts now, donate: 1000, 5000 or 10000 bucks and become a member of my elite club. Each member receives a club membership card, with which you can get a free entrance ticket to the circus and to the all parties of any club in Miami. All the money will go for the good deeds, also on purchase of english grammar book. I don't know how will you get inside the club with the member card, but I guarantee that you'll get this card. I need some money for business promotions, here's the thing.

Recently one friend told me about available vacancies at her working place. They needed a carpenter and tractor driver, but because my hands grow from ass - I didn't fit in for the job. I want to put on a Zorro mask and act heroically. By the way it will be Halloween soon and then Christmas. I think I will put on an inflatable butt on my head on Halloween. I'm not going to walk and talk "trick or treat", no, I will put it like this: either you give me money or I will break your neck like a twig. Most important thing is that holidays would passed with out an incident. Things are not calm in our city as well. I caught an elusive grandpa who threw feces at people. He missed me, because I have evaded and I shot him with a harpoon. The harpoon of course was not real, made from plastic for children. I'm always so glad when there is a new article on this site, because I can talk with you, my favorite readers. On this good note I will finish for today. If you have any wishes, suggestions or criticism you can write me a letter. If you want to support me, then, you can do it any time. Also you can send your gifts directly to the bank account if you wish.

Thank you for attention, follow up the news!


P.S My apologies about today news article being rough and aggressive. Next time the article will be much nicer and lighter.

 
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