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Sheeps

Hello!
In general, I've been selling potatoes on this site and many farmers were not satisfied. They wrote me an angry letter full of threats, and in the envelope was a horse's head. I got scared, because I thought that this letter was written by mafia.

Later, I have realized that it was a scarecrow and then I remembered that I have ordered this scarecrow in carnival shop. Also farmers wrote me that I keep my potatoes in the crapper, then I put them out and sell them. Thank them for the revelation, but it is not true. Actually I have donated all my potato supplies to starving people in Africa and decided not to sell it. My dear readers know, that I am selling only unique things such as - socks, boxes of matches e.t.c.

There are some drunks and other punks are hanging out near my house. Today I've  put on a horse's mask on my head and went to talk to them. They got very scared, they left all their crap and ran away to the bushes. I was with a chainsaw and I started to saw down an electric pole, which fell down on these bushes. This gang doesn't bother my neighborhood anymore. That's how I've  dealt with this gang. I'm called Hans Andresen quite often. Yes, but so what?. I'm a bit embellished this story.

Year of the Sheep is already and this project celebrates 4 years! Generally speaking, the project began its existence in 2008, but then my keyboard contained only two buttons. After a time, I have bought some more buttons and mastered computer. I loved my computer, I fed him with electricity and instead he faithfully worked for me.

In 2008, I decided to create an online store that will specialize in the sales of potato. First of all! Tell me, what idiot would buy potatoes in the Internet? Secondly! Anyone can dig out itself potatoes in the garden! Thirdly, at that time I wanted to set a price in the amount of $ 50,000 for one potato! I still have no doubt that this is a very cost-effective price. On earned money from the sales I  planned to buy a BMW (real pirate's car), and a lot of books to become smarter. And of course a part of money I planned to donate to charity or to the needs of churches. And finally, I wanted to buy a ticket to the circus and to go to look at the clowns.

I'll tell you honestly, once someone wrote me a letter (e-mail) - "Hello, I would like to buy some potatoes for 20 000 dollars!"* I was very happy, but my computer has burned because he was old. I lost a lot of data from my hard drive and I forgot the password to my e-mail box. I was very upset and I almost forgot my own name, but thank God nothing happened.

The concept of this site is to interact with people, But I think that Moses had already showed people the right path. If shorter, I wanted to crank out a profitable business on this site. The main idea was to sell more potatoes, but as I said above after a time, I changed my mind.

After a while I remembered that I had made a wooden Easter egg and later I decided to sell it. That is how the idea came - to sell unique items. «  How is the sale? » - you would ask me. « Crappy »  - my answer would be. Please tell me, who will buy an egg or pants with a hole? The sale almost has fallen, as I had a bad marketing. But I don't want to lie, I had a couple of offers.

So if you are interested in something, be sure to tell me. Let this online portal will be similar to the abode of the Hospitaller Order. To be honest, I don't even know who they are. Perhaps they are somehow connected with the Order of the Red Cross.

Remember, that life is colorful. And if you are tired to glue on the wall in your toilet million dollars, better unstick them and invest those papers in order of Nobel's Garden Engineers, this will be your piggy bank. Well, to be honest sometimes I'll break it to get money to buy bread. Of course then I'll glue it again.

If you are visiting this site for a long time, you know me well. And if not - then quickly read from the beginning. And remember that the correct monetary investment - will save up your nerves. And I'll do the rest. The better place is here, believe me.
In the near future I plan to open an account in a good bank for currency exchange with you. Cash flows - fair economy!

P.S * Dear customer, who wrote me an email! Write to me again!

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Olympus

 

Hello!

I have heard the good news, soon there will be winter Olympiad 2014 in Sochi! There, everyone can ride a toboggan and jump with a parachute. I also know that in the winter you can go skiing and you can take a shotgun and shoot at the flying saucer. In winter you can do anything you want, for example - to ride a deer. But the fact is that, not all the deers want to be ridden, that's why you need to convince them. Sometimes these beasts have to fight with us, thus they are fighting for their rights. Of course I will support my favourite bowling team, which plans to win the nomination - ski jumping from a springboard. I'm sure they will win, the most important thing is the unity of the spirit! The games will be interesting, there will come some presidents, politicians, and others dudes. All these people are planning to go to a hockey game and make a parachute jump, they will make it, the most important thing is the unity of the spirit! Thieves, crooks, swindlers and other different morons are planning to arrive at the Games. They will do their evil deeds, and they will make it, the most important thing is the unity of the spirit! Defenders of the law will not sleep on the tree, they will catch this whole gang and they will make it, the most important thing is the unity of the spirit!

While I was writing the first paragraph - the Sochi Winter Olympics ended on a high note and Paralympics has begun! The Paralympics shows, how people with disabilities can unlimitedly grow and win. So appreciate what you have and do not complain to some problems, there is always a way out, and if it is not - then you have bumped into the wall. While I was writing last sentence - the Paralympics have ended and conflict in Ukraine have started. Passions boil, parties are struggling for power! Of course it's very difficult to find out what is realy happening in Ukraine, because there is an information war from different sides. Information is distorted and hard to learn the truth.

While I was writing the second paragraph strange things started happening in the World: the plane disappeared from the radar, crocodiles are leaving the river and attacking locals, military conflicts are everywhere, black guys are rapping, Queen of England has stained her crown with jelly and so on. My neighbor caresses a three-eyed cat, and says that this is all because of  nuclear testing, I don't agree. The problem is that on Earth there are a lot of sins and people forgot the Holy commandments, or simply do not observe them, they swimming in the bloody bath of sins. But damn! There are more and more money in the World! Who's fucking their prints? Show me this place!

But everything is not that bad, there are still good people in the World, they live in Jerusalem, and we can call them - Rastaman. I don't know is it true or not, but information is being checked. By the way Moon spins around the Earth, lunatics live there.
I'm not sure about this, but information is being checked. And as always, by tradition, at the end of the article - selling a box of matches, which was used by Napoleon. I'm not sure about this, but information is being checked.

Thank you, follow up the news!

 

 

 

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Cold season

Hello!
I have worked for the past three days, without respite forces. New batch of goods has came to the warehouse. In the container were a lot of frozen products, I kept a record of the shipment. I am not a storekeeper, because I work in the company which supplies customers with frozen fish and products. To be honest I don't know what that fish is for, but I suppose that it eatable. Generally the company sells all that can be frozen. I have opened one crate with goods and saw - frozen teddy bear, bush legs, automotive parts, construction helmets and fish. As I understand this is for Eskimos only. I was running for 3 days around with a club and chasing curious people off, who tried to get into the container. I did this, so that they won't turn into frozen idiots. Have you noticed that it is very very interesting story?

Who knows how to clean up a bit of money? I mean - money laundering. There is information that the Chinese make such deals, but I'm not Chinese, and so I won't do it. There is information that money schemers keep their money at the North Pole,
the cash stash is guarded by an angry walrus, but this is only a hypothesis. Actually, the money should be stored in drawers or under the pillow, also the money can be frozen and put into the container - angry walrus will keep watch them there.
Personally, I never hide my money, you know why? Because I  don't have them! Of course I had some money, but I have spend them in a store, when I bought donuts. Honestly, I don't like donuts, I buy them to receive dividends. I don't know how from donuts receive dividends, but this is a good system.
Just now I have got a call on Skype, some unknown person turned on web Cam and began to wriggle, I got scared. When he frowned his face, he looked like a psycho, who loves to rape donuts. By the way Skype is created by Estonians, which stole this idea from me.

Long time ago, when I was screaming at the monitor (I love it), I had an idea that I could see and hear any other person from any other computer. Thus was born the idea to create Skype. Anyone else noticed that it's already cold? Yes, it is the winter season already. Sometimes I stick my fingers in my socks and warm my hands. It will be bad if I will stick my fingers in someone's else's socks, this will definatly be a scandal! Again we have not discussed the exciting news such as: economy and domestic quarrels. Don't worry, we will still have time to discuss it. What about Nelson Mandela? Yes he died, these are tragic news. After all there are some good politicians in Africa! By the way, anyone knows their names?

Okay dear ladies and gentlemen, perhaps I will take a couple of days away from the bustle.
P.S. If anyone has a useless oil rig - mail me.
Thank you for attention! Follow up the news!

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Dogood

As you understand that the articles on this site are so unique and exclusive, therefore they are published monthly. The point is that the information flow is so big that a toilet bowl overflows. Therefore it is necessary to draw information from other sources. But if to be honest, I say that I'm t not getting information from any newspapers, news or other TV programs. Why do I need to load up my head with a random crap, when it's already covered with sawdust?
A couple of arrogant woodpeckers likes to knock their beak in my roof. And then form the attic - all sorts of rubbish are falling down on me. To be honest I didn't know that there died Pinocchio. Have you noticed that smells like verbal heresy?
This is all due to the fact that all people want to turn into a zombie, which will sit around the clock in the Internet and read useless
and senseless news from MSN, or other news sources. Human being often gets distorted information. For example: the news say that the victim has been shitted on by the bird, but they turn everything inside out. In fact, some monster have shitted on the victim. The monster was armed like a Rambo,  and his last name was Norris. Of course it is written to raise ratings, but why should they be needed for the zombies from MSN or Yahoo or other internet sources? And a lot of people who feed on that information, they sit there. Let's not talk about bad things, because there is a good news too.

Now - the autumn season and the leaves are falling down, and they creates impenetrable pile, in which I like to jump from the second floor. It brings me a lot of fun and glory. Once, someone put a brick into a pile, in which I have jumped later on. I'm tired always run barefoot in the bandages like a mummy. Longer I don't jump into the pile anymore, I jump on the inflatable trampoline. See! You got some interesting information! What a fun event, interesting news! Again, we are talking not about
the main concept of the website. The concept of this website - compassion, virtue and other good deeds, that cannot be put in the boot. Discussing various topics we climb in the mouth of a crocodile
and get off somewhere behind, we are walking by the edge of the razor! Yes, when the U.S. was on the brink of default, I played favorite anthem of bankers on saxophone - ringtones from the cartoon "Pokemon". This considerably improved situation in the World. Here I can say that I've committed a virtue. Often I run through the streets and scream about latest information about discounts in the second-hand shop. Thus I do charity. However yesterday, aborigenes came and robbed the store. Then they were arrested, because they didn't stand out in pink swimming costumes.

As you can see good can overcome evil. Okay, enough chatter, let's talk about some interesting project. As I said, here I'll open a potato shop, but I haven't opened this shop yet, because a lot of potatoes were distributed to the poor people.
Long time ago I had an idea - to create (to craft) unique things. I made a wooden bird, but today, accidentally stepped on her and she fell apart. Management helps me to live and to do the right things. Not long time ago I decided to start trading pictures.
I have a picture where Loch Ness monster is portrait (the one that lives in the lake). But for you dear reader I will give her for free (the picture at the bottom of the article), you will return the money later. All right ladies and gentelmen, I'm late to the singing indian concert. Do good and take care of the Earth.
P.S. I want to buy BMW 7 Series! In exchange I will give a box from TV with fresh air.
Thank you! Follow up the news and prepare the money! :D

 

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Management

Hello party ppl! Recently, I have read a lot about programming languages, but haven't understood anything, and began to read about the art of management. From this book I realized that a man can manage everything. Actually, I understood it when I was studying at the university. I got into the tractor and began to manage. This was my last management, because the driver threw me out from the cab and hit my head with a bucket. Then I was layin in the bushes about for a long time and communicated with police officer who were abusing my rest. But now I'm very well, I have recovered and I'm ready again to manage. Again I have embellished the story. But it was exactly like so. I'm a little tired of writing here a random crap (although a lot of what I write is the truth. Just a little overdone), in general, we'd better talk about serious things, such as work.

I am a merchant of fish products, and it's not so bad that I smell like fish. I don't smell bad, because I use parfume. Business starts in the sea, a vessel is catching fish, which I eat and then sell. Sometimes I dress fish in some fancy clothes, because the goods would be differ of any other goods. You can dress her in a cute green dress with a big bow in the middle! But it's another story for discusion. There is a lot of rivalry on the fish market. Obviosly I don't do that, but it's a damn good idea. Oddly enough, I sell fish to the people. Dirty fat cats often get in to the warehouse and steal my fish and then I'm catching those bastards to take back my goods. Fat cats still earning the fat bucks! And thats how my working week looks like. I have a lot of business ideas, but currently I work with the fishermen. I thinking about working with BMW concern. I will send them fish in a basket, in exchange they will send me 7 Series BMW in parts, in the same basket. I really want to buy a car.

I plan to do some heroic acts. I plan to go under the bridge and give confiscated fish (read the above) away to the homeless. And this is fucking (sorry) not a heroic act. Such wonderful affairs should be a lot of! We should do kind things in our lives instead of riding a wooden horse.

P.S. Selling an old boots without soles. The ones who needs it - please contact me. Thank you! Follow up the news!

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Holidays

Soon there will be so many different holidays! During the holidays I plan to sell a lot of wastepaper and a little bit of raspberry, collected from the bushes. I have an idea about earnings - to repair my house, because it is made of
packages of a yogurt. I lova lova yogurt, it flows over my head and I always sticky. Flies are sitting on me. In July, will be a great holiday - the World Day of Architecture. In honor of this, I decided to ruin my house and build a new one. It's
enought to build houses from a random crap! A normal house must be either of wood or stone  and architects know it. Today I bought the Board, and two kilos of stones for a new house. Suddenly I ran out my saved up money. I will have to beg again in a suit of beaver. There are good people on Earth, that will help and who have the opportunity to.

Sometimes I kiss the wall, on which hangs a poster girl of an old Playboy magazine. It is important to notice! I'm kissing not a poster, but my wall - the wall of my former house, inhabited by aborigines, formerly. By the way, soon there will be another holiday - the International Day of Kiss. So, it's better to kiss people instead of walls. Dear friends! Don't think
that I'm crazy, very often I'm just exaggerating.

Now I have to draw a new house plan. I also have a firecracker, in the evening I think to set up fireworks and invite a lot of guests. I think no one will come besides homeless cats. By the way soon in America - Independence Day!
That's where the fireworks exactly be and for sure there will come a lot of cats, they will search for fish.
Thank you for attention! Be much kinder! Follow up the news!
P.S. Who needs an empty box of matches? You can catch the bug and put that in there.

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Bucket

What a wonderful day today, I was lying under a bush in the garden. Suddenly I heard the air-raid warning. I got very frightened and ran into the house to get a wooden rifle (which was given to me by a wise Indian) and then ran to the front lines. Thank God it was a training test. Then people told me that in the sky  was flying rook, which was mistaken for an enemy aircraft. The sky must be clear for the birds, kites and clouds. By the way Microsoft has stolen some clouds for Windows 95.

On the splash screen there are some visible clouds. Also bad guys can come to knock your window out, to insert their windows. May be it will be Windows 8 without clouds, but with strange violet squares. What is it? Its called - a great fantasy of a mushroom eating designer. By the way the squares for Windows 8 were not stolen like clouds. Also there was a work of art - Malevich's "Black Square". All this is very strange things. Why do I say all this? Because ther are no good oparating systems. Although well, the system which controls the washing machine is fine with me.

This is a very difficult topic for discussion. To understand it, people must stop walking with a bucket on their heads. By the way, about my bucket. Last time I told that i will sell it, but i changed my mind. I gave it to one gardener who have peed in there and have poured it into their boots. More I won't make gifts for anyone, I will only do charity. How am I going to deal with them without a huge fortune? Very simple! I'll give an advice to myself on how best to sell old sweater which people will use like a mop.

And as you know, dear lovers of purity, cleanliness - the guarantee of health! The floor will be clean and the one who will buy a sweater will live a long and a happy life.
Thank you for attention! Follow up the news!

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No war

Hello!

The situation over North Korea is heating up, meanwhile in the southern part people continue to dance. What else is left to do, when {rokbox title=|| text=|someone| size=|561 350|}images/stories/snipa.jpg{/rokbox} is aiming at you with a rifle? Many people know, that the people of Korea - ethnically one. Yes, they are similar to each other, then it is true. But what this nation cannot divide?

Koreans eat the same rice, but in the southern part this rice poured with sauce Uncle Balns. The sauce is a good find for food. Probably, there is a one jar of sauce, but there are a lot of people, who interested in this product. Well, they are divide this sauce. One side of the conflict scares the whole World with nuclear warheads, the other side of the conflict has bought a second jar of sauce and hid it. There is only one question, what the hell is going on there? I don't know, I'm excited, maybe I must to buy one jar with sauce, or maybe I can pour rice on sauce. All this things is hard to understand, you have to be a strategist like me to understand it. I don't want to meddle in the internal affairs of these countries, but I will say something. The sauce should not be a cause for war, because this is just a condiment. It is necessary to solve this problem diplomatically.

Politicians should meet each other under the bridge to discuss the topic of condiments, and the rest of the World will help. I would like so much to tell you about it, but it's a long story! Better little by little I will write about everything, because it is harmful for a long time to read for you and for all.

Thank you, follow up the news!

P.S selling a bucket for the garden. The ones who needs it - please contact me.

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Im OK

Wall Street again prevents me from earning money! Whos does not know what is Wall Street, let me explain. This is a street where many stones are piled in, so no one can pass throught. This article is for businessman in general. Brokers in stock market - sick people, they have nerves not ok.They are screaming, throwing papers, spitting on the floor and on each other. I think if the indexes will drop at the stock market - stock brokers will get frightened.They will turn into doves and shit themselves. Moreover, from the back door of stock market strange people are running out in the bath suits. They are running around the World and scaring people. The reason is, that on the stock exchange dishonest things are happening.

Here is a {rokbox title=|We must to prevent!| text=|plan| size=|561 350|}images/stories/spacefoto.jpg{/rokbox} to prevent them from running out of the stock market. The picture was taken from Space. This is a good plan, but I'm afraid that this guys in bathing suits in future, will run out from the toilet bowl.

As I like to say - it is tense situation in the World. Yesterday I have bought a VHS tape with the film Die Hard (part 2). I have to say that it's very scary movie. I got scared and went to sleep in the closet with a wooden sword in my hands. I will defend myself from stock brokers, which can crawl out from my sofa. That's why it's better to have a non stressful job - cultivate flowers and sell them under the guise of a vacuum cleaner. P.S Selling second hand sweater (with big hole). The ones who needs it - please contact me. Thank you, follow up the news!

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Snowflakes

I want to congratulate you with Merry Christmas and a Happy New year! I wish you that all sorts of smelly goats didn't lie to you, bad people, unfortunately always lie. Beware of injustice in all its forms. Remember that under a noble beard of Santa Claus can be evil smile of crocodile. But no so bad, because Santa Claus have a fake, unreal, very very unreal, not real beard, which can be taken off and can be eaten, because in his beard can be found a food remains. It's very delicious.

In the past year there were many tragedies. I wish that these tragedies will not happen again in this new year. All this is a porridge with the problems. It is a good reason to feed the pigeons, with that porridge. I wish to breathe purrre oxygen and pray more to God, and I wish you the same. Now I'm riding to the sky on my own ostrich-animal to make it all come true. Beach, I'm stuck in the elevator again.

Thank you, follow up the news!

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